These lyrics are all bad on their own terms, but they're made even worse when you consider who wrote them. So continue on for my ten worst rock/pop lyrics of all time.
Michael Jackson - Earth Song
“What about elephants? Have we lost their trust?” - Really Michael? Are Elephants the only species you could come up with who might have lost our trust? What about those we kill to eat? What about those we use for own amusement and fun? What about those that we just kill as ‘sport’ or get hunted by stuck up toffs like foxes?
Katy Perry - Firework
"Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?" sings our Katie. That's a question Ms Perry, can’t really say I have. What kind of plastic bag am I supposed to feel like? A freezer bag maybe, Asda carrier bag? Bin Bag? Nope, I can honestly say I’ve never felt like a plastic bag and I don’t know anyone else that has either!
Nirvana - Smells Like Teen Spirit
“A mulatto; An albino; A mosquito; My libido” - How do a mulatto, an albino, a mosquito, and some random guy's libido have anything in common? What on Earth is Mr Cobain singing about? I really haven’t a clue! But honestly, I do love this song despite the weird words!
Toto – Africa
A song that is the ‘Gold’ standard when it comes to daft lyrics. “I know that I must do what’s right, As sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti” Toto’s Africa really is a masterclass in writing bizarre lyrics, I mean what were they on when they wrote it? There’s also the simple fact that Kilimanjaro isn’t even remotely close to the Serengeti, so they didn’t have an atlas in front of them at the time either.
That isn’t the only bizarre lyric in the song though, I give you - “The wild dogs cry out in the night, as they grow restless longing for some solitary company.” What in the world is “solitary company”? To me, ‘Solitary’ means you are alone, and company means you aren’t alone. So it’s an oxymoron! Do not attempt to make sense of the lyrics to this song, It will only give you a headache.
The Police — De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da
As if writing a song based around the chorus “De do do do/ De da da da” wasn’t bad enough, Sting chose to include two verses that scan like kindergarten rhymes. Then he introduces an ill-advised rape metaphor for good measure in the line, “And when their eloquence escapes me, Their logic ties me up and rapes me” Nice one, Sting, where the f**k did that come from? I’ve been at a loss for words before myself but I’ve never thought of it as being the equivalent of rape!. Maybe a chill pill or a bit of tantric might be in order?
Depeche Mode - Everything Counts
Now, I’ve always loved this song, but I’m sorry, without doubt it wins the ‘stupid line in there just to make it rhyme’ award for coming up with and actually recording the line, “The turning point of a career in Korea is being insincere”
Beck - Loser
“With the plastic eyeballs, Spray-paint the vegetables, Dog food stalls with the beefcake pantyhose”, a lyric so ludicrous it's basically genius. Beck, I salute you. Definitely up there with some of the drug-induced lines in The Beatles’ I Am The Walrus.
Coldplay - Fix You
Now I’ve probably mentioned before my dislike of Coldplay and Chris Martin so lyrics like “Lights will guide you home and ignite your bones” really don’t endear me much to them.
Now okay, the first bit about the lights is fine, kind of wholesome even. Igniting your bones though? That doesn’t sound so nice to me. How strong are these lights? Sounds like some kind of therapy that Martin was probably introduced to by Gwyneth Paltrow before their 'conscious-uncoupling'. If she likes deliberately getting stung by bees and putting olive oil in her vagina, then who can honestly say they’d be surprised to hear that she likes to burn her bones?
Oasis - Some Might Say
Actually the lyrics to the entire song are pretty dreadful, I mean “The sink is full of fishes, She's got dirty dishes on the brain, And my dog's been itching, Itching in the kitchen once again”. Makes you wonder what goes on in the kitchens of the South Manchester, Burnage households the Gallaghers grew up in. Then there’s the ominous air around such nonsense as "Some might say that sunshine follows thunder, Go and tell it to the man who cannot shine" which truly make the lyrics to this song particularly awful.
Then off the same album there’s the wonderful track, ‘Champagne Supernova’ which contains one of my favourite weird lyrics in “Slowly walking down the hall, Faster than a cannonball” something I just don’t get at all.
The Hollies - Carrie Anne
The first two verses of this song describe a creative, independent young lady, each of the members of The Hollies singing a different verse. However when it comes time for Graham Nash to step up to the mic, he gives us this "People live and learn but you're still learning, You use my mind, and I'll be your teacher, When the lesson's over you'll be with me". To me, a very creepy string of words that could easily read as a cult leader grooming a young target. They got away with that in the sixties – not sure they would anymore!
So there are some things we’ll never understand in this world and one of them is why some lyrics just don’t make any sense no matter how you look at it. There are songs that are so deep, they really make you think. But then there are those which are just so ridiculous you've got to wonder ‘Why?’
No comments:
Post a Comment